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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do… — W. C. Fields | Printable Wall Art
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I don't get no respect, no respect at all. — Rodney Dangerfield | Printable Wall Art
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for… — Rita Rudner | Printable Wall Art
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. — Erma Bombeck | Printable Wall Art
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's… — Bob Hope | Printable Wall Art
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Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. — Satchel Paige | Printable Wall Art
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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. — Steven Wright | Printable Wall Art
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The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one… — George Carlin | Printable Wall Art
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. — Erma Bombeck | Printable Wall Art
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There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. — Jerry Seinfeld | Printable Wall Art
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A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change… — Winston Churchill | Printable Wall Art
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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. — Douglas Adams | Printable Wall Art
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Take my wife—please. — Henny Youngman | Printable Wall Art
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Everything is copy. — Nora Ephron | Printable Wall Art
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I want to thank the good Lord for making me a Yankee. — Joe DiMaggio | Printable Wall Art
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. — W.C. Fields | Printable Wall Art
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a… — Groucho Marx | Printable Wall Art
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I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. — W.C. Fields | Printable Wall Art
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The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. — Dorothy Parker | Printable Wall Art
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. — Dorothy Parker | Printable Wall Art
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I don't care what is written about me so long as it… — Dorothy Parker | Printable Wall Art
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. — Phyllis Diller | Printable Wall Art
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Nothing draws a crowd quite like a crowd. — P.T. Barnum | Printable Wall Art
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty… — Rita Rudner | Printable Wall Art
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special… — Rita Rudner | Printable Wall Art
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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. — Steven Wright | Printable Wall Art
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The future ain't what it used to be. — Yogi Berra | Printable Wall Art
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. — Steven Wright | Printable Wall Art
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Ninety percent of the game is half mental. — Yogi Berra | Printable Wall Art
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I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness… — Isaac Newton | Printable Wall Art
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