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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should… — Lily Tomlin | Printable Wall Art
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Age and glasses of wine should never be counted. — P. J. O'Rourke | Printable Wall Art
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Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on… — Ogden Nash | Printable Wall Art
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A pinch of probably is worth a pound of perhaps. — James Thurber | Printable Wall Art
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute… — Jack Handey | Printable Wall Art
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. — Rodney Dangerfield | Printable Wall Art
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. — Milton Berle | Printable Wall Art
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Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but… — Terry Pratchett | Printable Wall Art
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd… — Joan Rivers | Printable Wall Art
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Sleep is death without the responsibility. — Fran Lebowitz | Printable Wall Art
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I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine. — Robert Benchley | Printable Wall Art
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If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it… — Chris Rock | Printable Wall Art
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Some people ask me, 'Was you a square?' Well, look here, no… — Louis Armstrong | Printable Wall Art
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People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. — Demetri Martin | Printable Wall Art
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An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. — Mitch Hedberg | Printable Wall Art
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I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to… — Mitch Hedberg | Printable Wall Art
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I did everything he did, backwards and in high heels. — Ginger Rogers | Printable Wall Art
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Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine. — Whoopi Goldberg | Printable Wall Art
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I don't know why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened… — Betty White | Printable Wall Art
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An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't… — Marlon Brando | Printable Wall Art
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on… — Mark Twain | Printable Wall Art
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There are lies, damned lies, and statistics. — Mark Twain | Printable Wall Art
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? — Abraham Lincoln | Printable Wall Art
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Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. — Benjamin Franklin | Printable Wall Art
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Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine. — Elvis Presley | Printable Wall Art
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I'm not funny. What I am is brave. — Lucille Ball | Printable Wall Art
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Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much. — John Wayne | Printable Wall Art
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If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do… — Marilyn Monroe | Printable Wall Art
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There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and… — Indira Gandhi | Printable Wall Art
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A day without laughter is a day wasted. — Charlie Chaplin | Printable Wall Art
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If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something… — Margaret Thatcher | Printable Wall Art
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Fish and visitors stink after three days. — Benjamin Franklin | Printable Wall Art
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When you come to a fork in the road, take it. — Yogi Berra | Printable Wall Art
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You can observe a lot by watching. — Yogi Berra | Printable Wall Art
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